James Potter and the Marauder's Map
by GoldenLaughter
Summary: James Potter and the gang on their adventure to create the Marauder's Map.
1. Plotting

"Oi! Marlene! Wait up!" James Potter tousled his jet-black hair and ran down the corridor after his friend Marlene McKinnon, who was walking with their other friend, Lily Evans, to lunch. Marlene rolled her eyes as he caught up to her. "I need a favor…" James started.

"And why should I help you? Lily and I could already be in the Great Hall eating lunch. But we're stuck here talking to you instead," Marlene smiled jokingly.

"Oh my dear, naive Marlene," James grinned widely. "I believe you are forgetting the pictures of your bald head that I possess, taken in the second year." Marlene's face turned a deep shade of red.

"Don't worry Marlene, I'll save you a seat at our table. This sounds," she made air quotes, "important." Lily's red ponytail swayed back and forth as she walked away through the castle's crowded Entrance Hall and into the Great Hall. The smell of a delicious, steaming hot meal wafted in through the large oak doors that hung ajar.

"Oh fine," Marlene eyed James warily. "What deviously hilarious prank do you have planned this time?"

"That's for me to know, and you to find out." James winked. "All I need for you to do is get a hold of Lily Evans' most embarrassing knickers for me."

"Oh no!" Marlene moaned. "I can't believe you're doing this, James!" she exclaimed, while trying to hide her grin.

"And I can't believe you let Sirius try to charm your hair three years ago."

"Oh fine. Hey, I've got to go, but I'll be in the common room at… let's say nine?"

"I'll be there!" said James called after her as he walked off to find his friends.


	2. The Perfect Failure

"Prongs!" Sirius whisper-shouted. Sirius Black, also known as Padfoot, had been James' best friend since their first year at Hogwarts, when James helped Sirius set off dung bombs in the Prefect's car on the Hogwarts Express.

"Padfoot, just get the cloak over us and hurry. That redheaded Prefect, Weasley, will be making his rounds any minute." Just as Sirius managed to throw the invisibility cloak over them, Arthur Weasley came around the corner. The the tall, thin red head walked right past them, and nearly trod on James' foot. James swore under his breath. Once Arthur had walked the length of the corridor and rounded the corner, Sirius and James threw the cloak off of their heads.

"Pads," James turned to Sirius as he tossed the silvery material to the floor. "We are growing way to quickly to fit under that cloak together anymore. And by the way, you wear way too much cologne. Seriously."

"If that was another name joke, I swear…"

"Chill Sirius. I swear sometimes you're as moody as Moony." Moony was their nickname for a fellow Gryffindor and friend, Remus Lupin. "Okay, now lets see what Marlene got for us."

James produced a small parcel wrapped in brown paper from under his bedclothes. Looking back on this moment, James always wondered why he didn't notice anything fishy about the fact that Marlene had wrapped the package. It would have made his night a lot easier if he had realized what she was up to. Sirius leaned in curiously as James ripped open the flimsy paper. Suddenly, a jet of blue liquid squirted out of a smaller box inside, covering the boys' faces all the way down to their shoulders.

"Ah! My hair!" yelled Sirius indignantly.

"Shhh!" James shushed Sirius. He went to push his rectangular glasses up his nose, but the nose he felt was not his own. It was quickly swelling to the size of a squash. "Sirius!" James exclaimed, but his tongue was swollen too, so it sounded more like 'theeweuth!'

"Thwellink Tholuthon!" Sirius said, his face also swelling rapidly.

Just when they thought it couldn't get any worse, they spotted a flaming red envelope at the bottom of the small box. James and Sirius looked at each other in fear. Then they ran. James and Sirius were halfway down the hallway when they heard the howler, a letter that screams at you in the voice of the sender.

"JAMES POTTER! SIRIUS BLACK! I AM EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!" Marlene's voice stopped them dead in their tracks. The shouting could probably be heard from the Headmaster's office, halfway across the school. "YOU THOUGHT THAT I WOULD BETRAY MY BEST FRIEND JUST FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT? YOU HAD BETTER BELIEVE THAT LILY AND I WILL GET YOU BACK! BE READY!" Sirius looked at James worriedly.

"Ithn't thith punithment enouth?" Sirius asked. The howler, about twenty feet from where they stood frozen to the ground, burst into flames. James shook his head, trying to clear his mind.

"C'mon," he whispered to Sirius. They broke out into a run and headed for the Gryffindor common room.

Unfortunately, as they dashed up the Grand Staircase, Mr. Filch stopped them dead in their tracks. The middle-aged man had mousey brown hair that just reached his shoulders, beady eyes, and a scowl on his face.

"What are you two trouble makers doing up this late?! My office. Now!" His screechy voice echoed through the empty halls. James and Sirius sullenly followed Filch down to his office in the dungeons.

Filch led Sirius and James into his cramped, musty office. They sat across from his desk in two rickety, uncomfortable old chairs. Filch glared at them and rummaged through his drawers silently. He handed them each quills and a bottle of ink, and they sat in silence while filling out reports on the crimes that they never had a chance to commit. Surprisingly, Filch didn't seem to notice or care that their faces were swollen like pufferfishes.

"Detention. In the trophy room. Eight o'clock every night for a week. Now leave!" Filch seemed extremely edgy as he sent them on their way. After retrieving the invisibility cloak from the corridor that they had dropped it in, James and Sirius headed for their dormitories on the fourth floor.

The Gryffindor common room was empty when James and Sirius got back, except for two boys sitting by the fire. James and Sirius made their way across the room and sat in between the short, plump boy and the taller, skinny one.

The taller boy, Remus Lupin, looked anxiously at James and Sirius.

"So… What went wrong?" He asked carefully. James scratched his swollen neck before replying.

"What gave it away?" Sirius asked as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Hm. Well, you're back 30 minutes early, you're not giggling like you're guilty and… hm, what was it? Oh yeah… Your faces are swollen like balloons!"

The shorter boy, Peter Pettigrew, let out a squeaky laugh. Remus also looked like he was suppressing a grin.

"Here," Remus said as he passed James and Sirius each a cup of thick, orange liquid. "This is Deflating Draught. It should stop the swelling." James toasted with Sirius and raised the cup to his lips. "Oh no," Remus smiled as the fire crackled. "You don't drink it…" Sirius looked at Remus quizzically. "You, erm… you put it on your face." Remus smirked as James took a huge dollop in the palm of his hand and smeared it all over his face. Sirius followed suit and soon their faces were back to normal.

"Tell us what happened!" Peter exclaimed impatiently. Remus and Peter sat still, hanging on every word of James and Sirius' story. By the time they finished, conveniently leaving out how Marlene's howler told them off, you could practically see the wheels turning in Remus' head.

"If only you had known Filch was coming… If only… I'm going to the library." Without another word, he picked up his cloak and left the common room.

"Bet you ten sickles that he gets more than twenty seconds down the hallway before he snaps out of it and realizes that it's midnight," James said to Sirius.

"You're on, Prongs," Sirius said as he and James shook hands. They waited in silence for exactly twenty-two seconds before Remus came scrambling in through the portrait hole, which was the entrance to the common room.

"How come no one stopped me?" Remus asked as he slumped into the armchair closest to the fire. Sirius was too busy counting out sickles to answer. "Well," Remus announced, "There's always tomorrow."

The boys spent the rest of the evening planning their revenge on Marlene and Lily.


	3. A Map

The next day at lunch, the boys were fooling around and joking about their detentions until Remus came dashing through the Great Hall and up to Gryffindor's table. He threw his books down and sat in between James and Sirius.

"I've got it!" Remus exclaimed as he pulled a piece of folded parchment out of his book bag. "A map! How extremely simple! I can't believe we didn't think of it five years ago! I've already casted a plotting spell on it, you can see everything on the grounds, plus, I've added some of the better passages that James has found over the years and..."

"Slow down, mate," Sirius said. "There's not even anything on here."

"That's the brilliance of it." Remus drew his wand and tapped the parchment. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

As he said this, ink began to appear, starting from the spot where Remus' wand touched the parchment and spreading out into an elaborate picture of the Hogwarts grounds.

The top of the map read, "Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present: THE MARAUDER'S MAP"

"Clever!" James hissed. "Now put it away. Snivelus is coming!"

"Mischief managed," Remus said hastily, and the map vanished. However, Severus Snape, their arch nemesis, had seen the parchment before Remus could put it away.

"What's that, twit?" Severus sneered as he looked down at them.

"None of your business!" Peter squeaked, but he shrunk back when Severus drew his wand. Severus snatched the blank map from Remus' hands

"Give it back, Snivelus!" Sirius said angrily. Severus glared at the four boys before tapping the parchment with his wand.

"I, Severus Snape, demand to see the contents of this parchment!" Writing appeared on the parchment, but it wasn't the writing that had originally appeared when Remus had said the command.

"Mr. Moony wishes Mr. Snape a wonderful day and hopes that he will, in the future, keep his ugly nose out of other people's business. Mr. Prongs simply thinks that Mr. Snape it an annoying twit. Mr. Padfoot agrees with Mr. Prongs and in addition would like to recommend 'Shelly Slughorn's Supreme Shampoo' to take care of Mr. Snape's greasy hair. Mr. Wormtail would also like to recommend a few different potions for that ugly zit on Mr. Snape's forehead."

Severus threw the parchment back at James and strode out of the dining hall. The newly named Marauders simultaneously started laughing, which turned into loud guffaws, until tears were streaming down James' face and Sirius had fallen onto the ground from laughing so hard.

"There's only one problem," Remus said. "In order to see the location of every witch and wizard on the grounds, you have to cast the Homonculous Charm on the map. It's an extremely difficult charm, I don't even think that it's on our final year exams!" Remus stood up. "I think I'm going to go to the library. I've got to figure out how to cast this spell!"

That night, James and Sirius snuck out of the common room after curfew to try out their new map.

"Lumos!" James muttered, and the tip of his wand lit up. Sirius and James walked in silence until they reached the dungeons. They turned down several different corridors until they reached one with a room labeled "Slytherin Common Room." Slytherin was the house that Severus was in.

James and Sirius stood at the end of the hallway and waited. The next Slytherin to walk out of the common room would get a nasty avalanche of dung bombs. Fortunately for James and Sirius, it only took thirty minutes, and that Slytherin was none other than Snivelus himself.

What happened next seemed to happen in the blink of an eye.

Sirius threw a dung bomb just as Severus glanced their way. Severus instantly casted a leg-locking curse, which hit James, who then fell down, dragging the invisibility cloak with him. For a split second, Severus saw Sirius, who quickly threw the cloak back over himself and James, then dragged James to safety several corridors away before he could perform the counter-curse.

"Wow," James said, rubbing the elbow that had broken his fall. "That did not go as planned."

The boys, having a strange sense of déjà vu, quickly made their way four stories up towards their own common room and dormitories. On the staircase, they met none other than the headmaster himself, Albus Dumbledore.

"Hello boys," he said softly. "Taking a midnight stroll? Yes, I do like to walk around the grounds at night, sometimes to ponder life, sometimes to find the loo… yes?" Dumbledore stopped, for the look on James and Sirius' faces was that of pure shock. This was because, of course, they were still under the invisibility cloak.

"Erm, well, you see, sir… it's just, I mean to say, it's kind of-" Sirius cut James off

"What James means to say, Professor, is that we were wondering why we aren't, uh, in trouble."

Dumbledore chuckled, which made James and Sirius even more uncomfortable.

"First of all, please take off that cloak, it is rather uncomfortable to have to talk to the wall behind you. Yes, that's better. Now, I do think what yourfriend, Remus, is doing for you is very kind. He is a very talented student. I don't wish to punish you tonight, for it seems that Mr. Filch has done enough of that for two nights' worth of trouble instead of one. I merely wish to give you some guidance… Mr. Black, if you would kindly hand me that parchment that you are hiding behind your back," Dumbledore smiled knowingly as Sirius handed him the blank map, while looking at the floor sheepishly.

"Now," Dumbledore murmured, "How do you reveal the map?" There was an elongated silence before James and Sirius realized that Dumbledore was talking to them.

"Tap the map with your wand and say 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,' sir," Sirius said, a little more confidently now because he knew that they were off the hook.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," Dumbledore uttered, and with a gentle tap of his want, the map came into view once more. "Now let's see," He said quietly to himself. Dumbledore stood there for a moment before tapping the map and saying, "Homonculous!"

At that instant, about three hundred tiny dots appeared on the map, most in the common rooms, some in the teacher's chambers, but most peculiar of them all, three dots right where they stood, labeled 'Albus Dumbledore, Sirius Black, and James Potter.'

"Thank you, Professor!" James exclaimed. "This is brilliant!" Dumbledore smiled, looking very satisfied.

"Very well boys, but I do believe there is a curfew. Do you need a map to get back to your dormitories?" There was a glimmer in his eye as he winked at James and Sirius.

"Oh, this map will do Professor. Thank you!" Sirius and James waved at Professor Dumbledore as they practically skipped all the way back to their dorms.


	4. James Potter Always Wins

"So?" Peter asked as they were sitting down for lunch. "How did it go?"

It was a week after James and Sirius' encounter with Dumbledore, and they were learning all the advantages of the Marauder's Map. Of course, the main advantage was the fact that they could pull off ten times the pranks that they could before, and get away with it too.

"You'll find out terribly soon," James said slyly. "Lily happens to walk by that statue on her way down to lunch." He leaned back and scanned the Great Hall. "She'll be here any minute."

"JAMES POTTER, YOU LITTLE SLIME BALL!" Lily Evans marched through the Great Hall and up to James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. "I cannot BELIEVE you!" She shouted. "How did you even get a hold of them? Do you KNOW how horrible you are? You COMPLETE idiot! How in the world did you even…" James stopped Lily short.

"Oh my dear, I have absolutely no clue what you are even talking about…"

"James, I think you are the only person, along with maybe Sirius, that has any clue why the One-Eyed Hag statue has my neon pink knickers on it." Her voice was now icily calm.

"Lily dear," James said, somehow managing to remain calm. "Neon pink is most certainly not your color. It clashes with your hair."

"Oh shut up James. You better believe that I will get you back, and when I do, you will wish you were never born." Lily crossed her arms and scowled at his nonchalant grin.

"Seriously Lily," James said. "You're cute when you're angry, but leave the pranking to the professionals."

James stood and the other Marauders followed suit, knowing that it was over, because they had a secret weapon… and they were going to use it well.


End file.
